


Beautiful Minds

by MyChemicalRachel



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Child Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Murder, Russian Translation Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChemicalRachel/pseuds/MyChemicalRachel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank Iero was an average seventeen year old kid, this much was true. But he was also a traumatized ten year old boy and a twenty-six year old man with psychotic tendencies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Minds

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the Russian translation is at the end of the fic.

Gerard shifts through the loose papers that scatter his desk. He silently curses when a few flutter to the floor and rubs a hand across his tired eyes. Holding back a yawn, Gerard drops to his knees on the cool tile, gathering the escaped pieces of the file and shoving them in disarray back into the folder. One more patient, he reminds himself, and then he can go home. 

_Home_ , he scoffs. An empty apartment that feels just about as vacant as it looks; just an old worn out sofa and a few unpacked boxes. Everything else was in a storage unit in Newark, locked away in a too-small room with what was left of his emotions. When his boyfriend of two years suddenly decided that their relationship was too much to handle, Gerard had come home to their shared apartment to find his things waiting in the narrow hallway and the locks changed. He had stayed outside the dark olive colored door for two hours, but Bert refused to talk to him much past a string of curse words shared through the wooden barrier that separated the two ex-lovers. Gerard spent the next few sleepless nights searching for a cheap-as-shit apartment and a reason why the guy he loved suddenly despised him. It had now been two weeks and Gerard still had trouble sleeping in his cold, empty bed. Perhaps that's why he was so intent on work lately. He kept writing off his new ambitions as nothing more than simple incitement; He was, after all, the new guy. He'd only been working at Blue Jay Mental Institution for a few months. Not to mention, he was the youngest doctor there. He needed to make a big impression; They had already talked about budget cuts and Gerard knew that if he wasn't careful, that budget cut could mean his job.

But, if Gerard was being completely honest with himself, he knew his sudden interest in his most recent patient was more than about just keeping his job. He was enticed by his new patient, by far the most intriguing case he's ever had.

_Frank Iero_. 

Frank, from the outside, was a completely normal seventeen year old kid. He wasn't the most social, the report that Gerard had received said, but he was a relatively good kid. He had a few minor run-ins with the law a few years back, but he was getting better; That is until he was found in a puddle of his parents' blood, clutching the knife that was used to dismember his mother and father. The court decided that, though he seemed completely competent at times, he seemed rather scared and confused at others. They had all the evidence they needed; He was there, he had no alibi, he was holding the knife which, later tested, revealed no other finger prints. Frank was clearly guilty, but the one thing they were missing was motive. Why would this normal teenager brutally murder his own parents? More than that, why would he call the police after committing the crime, making no move to hide the evidence, and later deny the entire situation? It didn't add up. At first...

After spending the past two months with Frank, Gerard started to notice a few things; Not mere competence, but arrogance at times. But in other sessions with the doctor, Frank would be cringing away in fear, almost as if he was scared that Gerard would hurt him. It took him more than a month before Gerard finally put the pieces together, the puzzle seeming to come together in enlightening realization.

Frank was an average seventeen year old kid, this much was true. But he was also a traumatized ten year old boy and a twenty-six year old man with psychotic tendencies.

Upon this realization, Gerard nearly instantly diagnosed the boy with Dissociative Identity Disorder; Frank had multiple personalities, two of them aside from his own. And Gerard had the pleasure of meeting them both.

Mikey was what Gerard had dubbed the Pain Keeper. He was barely ten years old, traumatized beyond belief by what had happened to Frank, coming forth in threatening situations to procure the abuse Frank endured. Gerard had just recently learned what the "pain" was. After convincing Mikey that he was safe now, Mikey relayed event after tragic event to the doctor. Frank's parents, Mikey told him, were violent people. It was when Frank was twelve that Mikey had first surfaced, his own personal fight-or-flight response; Frank disappeared into the recesses of his own mind and Mikey took over to accept the abuse instead.

Ray was the first personality to come forth inside of Frank, just a year before Mikey. Gerard thought of Ray as the Protector; He had first surfaced in Frank's sixth grade year when he started getting bullied. Ray was angry a lot of times, like he kept the hatred that the personalities felt all bottled up inside himself. He had told Gerard at one point that he felt the need to protect Mikey and Frank. Mikey could handle the pain, but Ray was the one to act on the anger it incited. The animosity that was provoked by the abuse was sent to Ray, who would take care of it in his own way. At first, Gerard didn't know what that meant;  _his own way_. But within only a few sessions, he realized that Ray was indirectly confessing to everything. The legal trouble Frank had when he was younger, the murders, the sudden outbursts that he heard when Frank was screaming from down the hall; It was all Ray.

Frank was, ironically, the only personality that Gerard had never met, though it was Frank he was supposed to be treating. Ray informed him, when the doctor asked, that Frank hadn't been "awake" in awhile. Since the murder of his parents, Frank had only surfaced once. Ray didn't realize it at first, as he was admiring the blood and destruction he had caused, but Frank pushed himself forward, waking up only long enough to see the morbid masterpiece that covered himself and the kitchen and call the police. Ray immediately pushed him back, allowing only himself and Mikey to see or talk to anyone since.

A knock sounds on his office door and Gerard stands up, setting the shuffled papers on the edge of his desk and welcoming the distraction. "Come in," He calls and smooths his palms over the black denim of his jeans.

He looks up just as Derek peeks his head around the corner of the wooden door. Derek, a regular orderly at the institution, smiles softly. "Your patient is here, Dr. Way."

Gerard nods, brushing some dark hair out his eyes face and sitting down. His blue chair swivels slightly and he rolls it toward the open-- and now disorganized-- file on his desk. "Send him in."

Gerard looks down quickly, trying to put some order back to the scattered papers. When he looks up again, his eyes land on Frank, now seated across from him. Frank's hazel eyes dart nervously around the room, wide and terrified. Gerard immediately recognizes this as the younger of the personalities. He wrings his hands in his lap, biting his lip raw, before pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around himself. 

Gerard smiles gently. "How are you doing today, Mikey?" He asks. 

The boy shrugs, the innocent aura that follows him making the body he wears seem even smaller. He makes a soft noise that sounds slightly like "I don't know," but the words are mumbled. 

Gerard tilts his head, knowing this next part will be the hardest. "Mikey, I have a few pictures here," He says slowly, making sure the younger boy catches each word. "Can you take a look at them," He opens the another folder, shuffling through the disturbing images. "And tell me if you recognize anything?"

The boy hesitates before nodding and leaning forward a little bit. Gerard smiles his encouragement and lays the photos, provided by the police, across the cluttered desk. Mikey's eyes widen immediately upon seeing the murder scene, fear evidently swelling inside of him at the images, and a choked sob escapes his pink lips.

Gerard simply watches as, just as fast as the reaction takes place, another change in the boy's posture occurs. His spine, rigid and tense until now, relaxes but only for a moment. And then the boy is lurching forward, anger taking the place of the horrified expression. "What the fuck are you thinking!?" The boy demands, now furious. 

Gerard sighs, leaning back in his seat and rolling his eyes. "Hi, Ray," He says easily.

Ray shakes his head, ire apparent in Frank's eyes. It amazes Gerard, no matter how much the personalities change, the body remains the same. The expressions that the beautiful face takes on seem all wrong, neither terrified innocence or enraged temper seem to fit him just right. Because neither expression belongs to Frank himself, but to the personalities that inhabit him. Still, there's a constant glimmer in his eyes, something that always seems to catch Gerard's attention, that must belong to Frank. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ray continues angrily. "I told you; Mikey doesn't know about Frank's parents! I fucking told you!"

Gerard groans internally, honestly not feeling up to the constant mood swings today. "I need Mikey to talk to me, Ray," He says, fighting to keep his voice as calm as possible, though irritation seeps into his words.

"Not about that." Ray's own voice is laced with defiance. "I told you everything you need to know about the murders. I killed them, Mikey doesn't even fucking know. He doesn't know why we're in this shit hole, he just thinks we're getting help."

"You are getting help." Gerard leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk and crossing his arms. "But I need to know  _everything_." Ray's expression stays the same. Gerard sighs, leaning back again and making a gesture in the air with his hand. "How do I know you did it?" He wonders, attempting to prove his point. "You could be covering for Frank. Or Mikey."

It's Ray's turn now to roll his eyes in exasperation, laughing humorlessly, but Gerard presses on before he has a chance to say anything. "Look, I know you want to protect them, Ray," He says. "I know that. But you agreed to treatment. You agreed to let me try to put Frank back together, fusing the three of you into one." Ray doesn't speak, simply reaching out an open hand. Even without words, Gerard knows what he wants and pulls the pack of cigarettes from his desk drawer, sliding them over. "There's only one way to fuse you back together," Gerard continues as Ray silently lights up a single cigarette and takes a long drag. "All of you have to know everything. And _I_  have to know everything."

Silence follows as Ray takes in the doctor's words, inhaling them with the smoke that filters around him. Ray's a hard ass, Gerard has come to know that, but his silence means that he's considering this. Gerard presses on again, taking a deep breath before saying, "I need to meet Frank."

Ray exhales easily. "No." The response is so simple but Gerard knows the promise that follows that single word. This is something Ray is set on, something that Gerard has been trying to persuade him on for awhile, but Ray refuses to let Frank surface. He claims that he's trying to protect him; If Frank comes forth, the last thing he will remember is being in a pool of his parents' blood. His reaction to that is unpredictable, even to Ray. He could freeze up and become emotionless or he could become outraged and lash out at the doctor. Still, meeting Frank is something that needs to happen for Gerard to ever fully fuse the personalities, to ever put Frank back in charge of his own body.

And the refusal irks Gerard, making him slam his fists down on the desk, more papers fluttering to the floor. "Dammit, Ray!" 

Ray's eyes widen, an amused expression coming over his features as he flicks ash into the tray. "Well then, Doctor," Ray muses. "I don't think that was quite an appropriate reaction to a patient."

Gerard sighs heavily, his head suddenly throbbing, and rubs the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "Don't fucking start, Ray," He groans.

"Aww, what's wrong, Way?" Ray asks, humoring himself. "Did you have a bad day? Come on, you make us talk every day. Now it's your turn." Ray leans forward, smirking. "Tell me about your feelings."

Gerard turns his gaze back to the cocky asshole that sits across from him, glaring. He swallows hard. "How about this, Ray?" He says, his own smirk falling into place. "You want help; I'm here to help. You don't want to cooperate; I let your ass rot in a prison cell for manslaughter." Gerard leans forward, his voice dropping to a lower tone, speaking slow. "You and Mikey and Frank. How do you think Mikey would react to a cell?"

Ray's jaw clenches and Gerard knows he's got him exactly where he wants him. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?" Ray says in a hard voice but, before Gerard even has the chance to reply, Ray flattens the lit end of his cigarette on the bottom of the ash tray. Just as before, his posture changes in a matter of seconds, losing the angry edge and taking on a more fearful expression. His eyes widen considerably as he glances around before landing on the stranger seated across from him.

This isn't Mikey, Gerard realizes that almost immediately and perks up in his chair. Frank regards the doctor with a fearful gaze, some anger still present. Of course... Anger and fear. Both opposing personalities coming together to form one person; Frank. Both feelings derived from the single source and splitting into multiple people, three beautiful minds confined in one broken boy. 

"Frank?" Gerard asks tentatively, trying to hide the excitement that he feels budding inside himself. "Frank, do you--"

"Where the hell am I?" Frank interrupts. His hands have latched onto the arms of his chair, knuckles white from gripping the wood so hard. His eyes shift around as if he's looking for the exit, probably wanting to get out of here as fast as possible. Then he looks back at Gerard. "Who are you?"

"Frank, my name is Gerard Way," He says, deciding to skip the "doctor" part of the introduction, in fear of scaring the poor kid anymore than he already is. "You're safe here. Please, just relax."

"Where am I?" Frank demands again, not relaxing one bit.

Gerard tilts his head to one side, honestly not sure where to go from here. He doesn't want to just blurt out that Frank-- well, technically  _Ray_ \-- killed his parents in a rush of rage. "What do you remember, Frank?"

Frank lets out a shaky breath, swallowing hard and leaning back, looking somewhat defeated, in the chair. "Oh God, the blood..." He pauses, his eyes seeming to lose focus as he remembers back to the last time he was "awake." He lets out a choked breath, meeting Gerard's eyes in a pleading way. "What did I do?" He asks. "Did I... Did..." He can't seem to force the words past the lump in his throat, letting the unfinished question settle heavily in the air. 

Gerard shakes his head. "No, Frank," He says, his voice soft. "You didn't do that."

"But I was there!" Frank realizes. "I was there, I was holding the knife and they were just... laying there."

"Please relax, Frank," Gerard repeats. "I need you to tell me everything you remember, okay?"

Frank swallows again, the Adam's apple moving in a way that entrances Gerard, though he forces himself to focus on the boy's words. "My parents... God, they were everywhere." He lets out another strangled sob, trying to compose himself in front of this complete stranger. "I remember seeing them and dropping the knife. Fuck, why was I holding the knife!?" He demands of Gerard, needing to hear again that he was innocent.

"What did you do after you dropped the knife?" Gerard asks, his own throat feeling dry.

"I panicked," Frank admits, stuttering over the words a little. "I called the police. And then..." His face twists up as he struggles to recall what happened next, but coming up with nothing. He shakes his head frantically, pleading Gerard with his eyes for some sort of clarity, desperately needing to know what happened, why he didn't remember. Gerard just waits. "I don't know," He finally chokes out. "It just went black. A-and now I'm here..." His voice trails off, sounding lost and hopeless and Gerard is reminded of Mikey, with his meek innocence.

"What about before?" Gerard asks, elbows resting on top of the case file. "What do you remember about before?"

Franks shakes his head again, his mind going blank. "Nothing," He says. "Fuck, what happened?" He demands. "Why can't I remember anything?"

"Frank," Gerard says, taking a deep breath, trying to decide how exactly to tell this poor kid about everything he's been through. How do you tell someone that they're sharing their mind with personalities they didn't even know existed? Gerard knew how Frank would react to hearing that, how anyone would react to that; They would deny it at first and then, inevitably, panic. He would feel out of control, he would freak out, realizing that there was someone else, or rather an unknown part of his brain, controlling his body while he slipped into complete darkness. Still, there was nothing else that Gerard could tell him; He needed to fix Frank. Gerard had bluffed before, about telling the police to put Frank in jail. Ray didn't know the doctor enough, but over the past two months Gerard had grown to know each of them. He felt responsible for Frank now, knowing parts of his mind that not even he knew, and Gerard was not going to lose this kid without a fight; He needed to save him. 

"Frank, you're in the Blue Jay Mental Institution," Gerard says slowly. "You've been a patient of mine for a little over two months now."

"Two months?" Frank demands and then shakes his head. "No. No way. My parents died yesterday." He wanted to sound sure, defiant like he knew what he was talking about, but his eyes conveyed more fear and he adds a nearly silent, "Right?"

Gerard swallows hard, taking a drink of his coffee. The cooling liquid feels bitter on his tongue and he sets the mug back onto the desk with a thud. "After the trial--"

"Trial?" Frank interjects. "No, I would remember that."

Gerard sighs. "After the trial," He continues. "You were sent to stay here. I've been seeing you every day for the past seventy days."

Frank looks scared, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Was I in a coma?" He asks hesitantly.

Gerard shakes his head. "No, you were fully awake in each session. Well..." He pauses, pursing his lips slightly. "Part of you was awake." Frank just watches him like a third arm has suddenly sprouted from the top of his head. Gerard bites his lip, deciding to take another approach. "Frank, have your parents ever hit you?" He asks suddenly.

Frank looks shocked that Gerard would ever even suggest a thing. "What? No, of course not!" Anger quickly covers some of the fear. "You think they hit me and that's why I killed them?"

"No, no, Frank," Gerard says. Well this isn't going how he wanted it to. "I know you didn't kill them. I believe you, okay?" He brushes back some dark hair and thinks for a few moments before speaking again. "Did you ever wake up and see anything...  _unusual_? Anything that seemed out of place?" Frank doesn't reply and Gerard presses on, prompting him. "Any bruises you didn't remember getting? Cuts? General pain?"

Frank's anger fades and his eyes go wide again. Gerard knows he's onto something here. "Frank, you don't remember getting those bruises because it wasn't  _you_  that was hurt. Do you understand?"

Frank shakes his head slowly, confusion evident on his smooth features. Gerard bites his lip again. "Frank, I think there are some people you should meet."

"Another doctor?" He asks, worry lacing his voice and making the words crack.

"No," Gerard says. He takes a breath, placing both hands on the desk in front of him and gazing deep into Frank's scared hazel eyes. "I think it's about time you met Ray and Mikey."

•••

"Gerard, look!" Frank bounces up and down in the small white room, a grin in place. "Look! LOOK AT IT!"

Gerard follows the younger boy across the room to where a sketchbook lies open on the bed. Ray had requested it within the first few months and it was filled with elegantly drawn images, some peaceful while others were almost painful to look at. Gerard looks down at the crayon drawing, trying to see the masterpiece that Frank created, but only succeeding in making out a shitty tree and horribly drawn boy. "Umm..." Gerard smiles, not really knowing what to say. "It's good, Frank."

Frank beams, shaking his head at the doctor. "No, it's horrible! Isn't it great!?" Gerard's smile falters, not really seeing the logic in his patient's words. Frank simply laughs, looking back down at the picture. "Ray could draw," He says. "I couldn't. I always drew like a kindergartner." He smiles, looking back up at Gerard, a happiness that Gerard had grown accustomed to on his face. After thirteen months of treatment, they were starting to see actual results. Ray and Mikey's personalities seemed to fade, slowly leaving Frank in control of his own mind. Ray was the least willing, wanting to stay behind and protect Frank, but even he knew it was best that Frank be fixed. After all, it was Ray's mistake that almost put Frank in jail. 

Without a word, Frank reaches a hand out toward Gerard. Gerard silently pulls the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and hands them to the boy. That was one habit Ray had created that seemed to stick with Frank, even through the fading personalities. Gerard figured that it also made it easier on Frank, handling everything as well as he had. Frank moves to the window on the opposite wall, pushing the glass open and flicking some ashes through the bars.

Gerard leans against the white wall next to him, folding his arms across his chest. "You know this doesn't mean they're completely gone, right?" He asks. "They'll always be a part of you. Mikey and Ray-- They'll never fully disappear. But their thoughts are yours now."

Frank nods solemnly. "Yeah, I know." He sighs, leaning against the wall and looking at the ground, perplexed. "What am I supposed to do when I get out of here? I mean, I've never been alone. I'm only eighteen. I don't have a job or a house..." His words trail off and he nudges some fallen ash with the toe of his shoe.

Gerard finds himself placing a hand on the boy's arm. "Hey," He says, his voice soft. He waits until Frank looks up at him and then his mind goes blank. What is he supposed to say? Everything will be okay? And what if it's not? Gerard just inhales a breath, slowly letting it out and biting his cheek. "I don't know what's gonna happen," He admits. "But I'm gonna be here for you. After you leave this shit hole, after the fusion is complete. I'll be here for you."

Frank sucks in his bottom lip, chewing on it fervently, before nodding. "Okay."

Gerard smiles, letting his response be nothing more than an echo of Frank's. "Okay."

•••

"Frankie!" Gerard's voice filters through the seemingly vacant apartment. He drops his bag on the old sofa, mentally cursing the patient files that fill it, knowing that he'll be swamped later but not really wanting to work right now. "Fraaaaank!" He calls the name again, drawing it out as his voice raises.

Gerard sighs, trudging through the room and heading straight for the bedroom. When he pushes the door open, he smiles. Frank is asleep on the bed, strewn out and tangled in the sheet that drapes across his waist. His mouth hangs open slightly, snoring softly. Gerard quietly crawls onto the bed, curling up at Frank's side and tracing a finger lightly across the boy's jaw and lower lip. "Frankie," Gerard repeats in a lower voice. "Wake up, baby."

Frank groans and turns his head into the pillow, blinking a few times before his hazel eyes focus on Gerard. "You're home," He smiles. 

Gerard nods. "Did you stay in bed all day?" He asks, amused.

Frank laughs, nodding.

Gerard rolls his eyes, pretending to be irritated. "Well you are most certainly not sleeping tonight."

Frank grins. "Nope, probably not." Gerard rolls over so he's laying his back and chuckles while Frank props himself up on one elbow, hovering over the doctor. "You know what that means?" Gerard hums in response before he feels the younger boy climb on top of him, kissing him softly. "That means I'm not letting you sleep either."

Gerard sighs in content, pulling Frank back against him when he leans away. After another moment, Frank rolls off and sits up, crossing his legs. He bites his lip, looking down, and Gerard sits up as well. "It's Ray's birthday today," Frank says quietly.

The words catch Gerard off guard and he reaches out to grab his boyfriend's hand. "They're not surfacing again, are they?" He asks, suddenly worried. 

Frank shakes his head. "No, no of course not."

Gerard sighs in relief but Frank still won't look at him. "Hey," He says, gently nudging him. "What's wrong?"

When Frank finally looks up, there are tears filling his beautiful eyes. Gerard sits up and wipes a hand across Frank's cheek, but Frank shakes his head and laughs. "I'm okay," He says, but Gerard isn't convinced. Frank leans in, pressing their lips together again. "I promise, I'm okay. It's just..." Frank's voice trails off, his eyes moving back to the sheets. He sighs after a moment and looks back to Gerard. "Thank you. For everything. I'd be in prison right now if it weren't for you. Or worse." Gerard mentally cringes, not even wanting to imagine what 'or else' might be.

"I would do anything for you, Frankie," Gerard confesses, letting his hand caress Frank's cheek. "You know that." He smiles. "I told you before; I'll always be here for you."

Frank bites his lip and leans into the older boy, letting his head rest against his chest. The heartbeat that fills his ears makes him smile and he wraps his arms around Gerard's waist.

"I love you, Frankie." Gerard mumbles, letting the words fall from his mouth in complete and utter honesty. It surprises him once he's actually said it and he immediately wants to take it back, knowing that Frank might not feel the same way. Frank was damaged, he knew that. He was like a puzzle, falling apart, but Gerard put him back together. Even still, Frank was never whole. He didn't remember all of the abuse, which Gerard convinced him was probably a good thing, and parts of the murder were still a blur. But he was better. He was whole again; One beautiful mind inside an equally beautiful boy. 

Frank looks up at Gerard and Gerard nearly bites his own tongue off, waiting for him to say something,  _anything_. He's just about to apologize for his words, wanting to take them back and say them again when he knows for sure that Frank will be ready to hear them, but Frank only smiles. His hand brushes against Gerard's back, his cool fingers now under the fabric of his shirt and making Gerard shiver almost as much as when Franks leans back into the embrace. "I love you, too, Gee."

 

**RUSSIAN TRANSLATION:**

Thanks to the awesome [ReluctantWay](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantWay/pseuds/ReluctantWay) for translating this. Translation can be found [here.](https://ficbook.net/readfic/3567854)


End file.
